I’ve seen the way you smile
and the way you start giggling in your sleep
the way your face lights up for a brief second
when you’re overjoyed but nothing less
you can be a Jolly soul
past your serious, gloomy exterior
but you don’t like it
you call me childish at times
but it’s more fun that way
and I know that you know that too.
You’re exactly how I wanted you
Right here, right in the moment
and yet I’m suddenly not satisfied
You’re perfection personified
and yet I’m sat here feeling lost.
The feeling I felt when you weren’t here
when I was longing for you to come home
for you to crave me the way I craved you.
I’m empty, numb and yet I have everything.
What went wrong?
The vicious circle of wanting
what you can’t have has bitten.
A yearning to go alfresco in the monsoon
The saliva from the haze above punches an exterior Descending, the aroma, a drizzly, sodden fragrance
A childlike moment
A sense of freedom
An abandonment of rationalisation
A rapid crash as the particles disperse wildly around.